Thorin’s motivations in The Hobbit movie: deep, meaningful destiny to reclaim ancestral homeland
Thorin’s motivations in The Hobbit book:
"Fred Potter, I actually let your mother name you after the bravest man she knew, instead of making it all about me. Now promise me that you’ll take a picture of McGonagall’s face when she realises the prankster legacy you and James plan to live up to. Awesome. High five.”
Even if you don’t have photoshop, you can still totally…
people expect Steve Rogers’ response to selfies and facebook status updates and twitter to be ‘I didn’t go to war for this’
but actually he did and he loves it because nothing exemplifies the freedom he fought for more than being able to post whatever you like online, and feel good about yourself, and generally being able express yourself in whatever way you like
the first and probably last awards for “songs written that were not meant to be gay but you know what let’s make them gay”
- the “Have A Crush On A Straight Girl And Write Sad Poetry” award goes to Beyonce’s “If I Was A Boy ” for like, what should be obvious reasons.
- the coveted “HOMOEROTICISM AND SEXUAL REPRESSION ” award goes to Taylor and her song “Treacherous" for the hella gay lines of "I’ll do anything you say, if you say it with your hands" and "I, I like it" for bringing up those memories of your extremely intense friendship where you were extremely confused as to exactly why you hated all of her boyfriends
- the less-coveted but still esteemed WE BROKE UP BUT WE’RE STILL IN THE CLOSET SO NO ONE KNOWS WHY I’M MAD award goes to “Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down" by Fall Out Boy for literally including the line “watching you two from the closet” as you angrily mutter to yourself and tell your mom GOD you’re FINE and then you listen to like, way too much pop punk
- the winner of our category - CRY BECAUSE I STILL LOVE YOU AND KNOW WE’RE MEANT TO BE - is, by a landslide Death Cab For Cutie’s “I Will Follow You Into The Dark" for not using gendered pronouns for your lover and letting you indulge the bit of you that imagines your breakup as the result of HEAVENLY and HELLISH influences as you text your friends updates about their Instagram profile picture
- combining two categories, the “You Heard A Gay Cover of This Song And Realized It Was The Truth” as well as the “BE YOUNG AND HAPPY AND GAY” with lyrics such as “Oh, oh, oh”, and “Said you had a dirty mouth” and making you remember furiously making out in a corner in a shitty gay bar that you felt deeply uncomfortable in goes to One Direction and their “Best Song Ever'
That’s why I like Cole Porter’s “It’s All Right with Me”:
It’s the wrong game, with the wrong chips
Though your lips are tempting, they’re the wrong lips
They’re not his lips, but they’re such tempting lips
That, if some night, you are free
Then it’s all right, yes, it’s all right with me
Let’s add on Jason Mraz’s “If It Kills Me” for that awful sense of longing for your straight friend.
How long, can I go on like this,
Wishing to kiss you,
Before I rightly explode?
This double life I lead isn’t healthy for me
In fact it makes me nervous
If I get caught I could be risking it all
All I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can’t say it after all we’ve been through
dental hygiene tip: brush your teeth like you’re about to go and make out with natalie dormer
fun fact: i got the idea to make this post while i was at work. i then thought about kissing natalie dormer, got distracted, and walked into a shelf in front of like three people
I CAN’T FIGHT. I CAN’T WALK. BUT I COULD DO SOMETHING.
Let the dogs in, make a break for the building next
over, and I can wait here with my finger on the button.
Rip those mutts a new one.
Lydia Litvya (1921-1943) was a fighter pilot in the Soviet Air Force who held the record for the greatest number of kills by a female fighter pilot. She was also (in my opinion) the most beautiful women in the Soviet military.
A Villian’s Guide to Dealing with the Doctor
(Wrote this long ago, but I still think it’s relevant …)1) Do not talk to the Doctor.
2) If you see the Doctor, fucking kill the Doctor. There is no practical purpose to keeping him alive. He will not help you with your incredibly intricate scheme. He will in fact do the exact goddamn opposite. Just kill him as soon as he says, “Hello, I’m the Doctor,” which he always does.
3) Do not attempt to use the Doctor’s companions as bait. Do not kill the Doctor’s companions until you’ve killed the Doctor. Flippant and jovial Doctor is easy to aim at, then kill. Pissed off vengeful Doctor will fuck you up beyond all comprehension.
4) I mean it, don’t talk to the fucker. Seriously.
5) If you find the TARDIS, bury it in concrete, throw it into a sun, or best yet, dump it into a black hole. You will never figure out how to operate it. You will not be able to exploit its technology. If the Doctor isn’t dead yet (Why haven’t you killed him yet?), then your only chance to survive until he shows himself is to make the bloody TARDIS completely inaccessable. And no, two of your idiot minion guards in front of it won’t work. Get rid of the goddamn thing.
6) Depending on whatever incarnation you’re dealing with, you will need anywhere from one to thirteen bullets. Bring three hundred, just in case.
7) What the fuck did I just say about not talking to the Doctor?
8) If the Doctor pulls out a sonic screwdriver before you can kill him, run like a motherfucker and don’t look back. Consider your plans already foiled, find some backwater of time and space to rebuild, and hope you don’t run into him again.
9) Never try to kill the Doctor. Never, ever, ever lay a trap for the Doctor. He will find it, he will get out of it, and then he will find you. Your best method to kill him is to do something evil completely unrelated to the Doctor. He may or may not show up. If he shows up, he will say, “Hello, I’m the Doctor.” Then you goddamn shoot him.
10) DO NOT TALK TO THE FUCKING DOCTOR, YOU IDIOT.
Earlier today, I served as the “young woman’s voice” in a panel of local experts at a Girl Scouts speaking event. One question for the panel was something to the effect of, "Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"
I was surprised when the first panelist answered the question as if it were about cyberbullying. The adult audience nodded sagely as she spoke about the importance of protecting children online.
I reached for the microphone next. I said, “As far as reading your child’s texts or logging into their social media profiles, I would say 99.9% of the time, do not do that.”
Looks of total shock answered me. I actually saw heads jerk back in surprise. Even some of my fellow panelists blinked.
Everyone stared as I explained that going behind a child’s back in such a way severs the bond of trust with the parent. When I said, “This is the most effective way to ensure that your child never tells you anything,” it was like I’d delivered a revelation.
It’s easy to talk about the disconnect between the old and the young, but I don’t think I’d ever been so slapped in the face by the reality of it. It was clear that for most of the parents I spoke to, the idea of such actions as a violation had never occurred to them at all.
It alarms me how quickly adults forget that children are people.
Apparently people are rediscovering this post somehow and I think that’s pretty cool! Having experienced similar violations of trust in my youth, this is an important issue to me, so I want to add my personal story:
Around age 13, I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me “not to joke about things like that.” I stopped telling my mother when I felt depressed.
Around age 15, I caught my mother reading my diary. She confessed that any time she saw me write in my diary, she would sneak into my room and read it, because I only wrote when I was upset. I stopped keeping a diary.
Around age 18, I had an emotional breakdown while on vacation because I didn’t want to go to college. I ended up seeing a therapist for - surprise surprise - depression.
Around age 21, I spoke on this panel with my mother in the audience, and afterwards I mentioned the diary incident to her with respect to this particular Q&A. Her eyes welled up, and she said, “You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?”
TL;DR: When you invade your child’s privacy, you communicate three things:
- You do not respect their rights as an individual.
- You do not trust them to navigate problems or seek help on their own.
- You probably haven’t been listening to them.
Information about almost every issue that you think you have to snoop for can probably be obtained by communicating with and listening to your child.
Stages of transition proving it’s not always linear. Keep hope and know there are good and bad days.
1: the December before I started.
2: 2 months after deciding to start, 2 months before starting
3: February after starting in August
4: Late May
5: Early July
All of are in order.
Aw this is still getting notes! Everyone is seeing how nice my tuck is!!
cats are squishy cartoon friends that live in your house with you and do rad stunts. if they like you they vibrate at you very loudly. this is somehow a real animal